Death in Her Hands by Ottessa Moshfegh

Death in Her Hands
by Ottessa Moshfegh
⭐⭐⭐⭐

Death in Her Hands isn't so much a story told as it is a story experienced. On one hand, we bear witness to the internal monologue of our main character, Vesta, a 72 year old widow whose sole companion is her dog - looking through her eyes only. On the other hand, however, it is as though Vesta is speaking directly to us, sharing her story in painstaking detail as if we are a friend with whom she is sharing her deepest thoughts. 

The story begins as Vesta, while going on her daily walk with her dog, finds a note on the path in the woods. This note reads, "Her name was Madga. Nobody will ever know who killed her. It wasn’t me. Here is her dead body." Strangely, there is no body accompanying the note. Vesta is immediately intrigued by the mystery of the message and thus begins her investigation into (and obsession with?)  Magda and who could have possibly killed her. 

Death in Her Hands is small but mighty - it's thought provoking, unique, honest, and brutal in its portrayal of loneliness. Vesta is an unreliable narrator in my opinion. She's likeable, vapid, judgmental, compassionate, delusional, and straightforward all at the same time. I loved her for all of these reasons. She is a character that I found extremely hypocritical and extremely human. I feel like we all have a little bit of Vesta inside of us. 

The story itself is well written and there were moments where I had to stop because it felt like I was being personally called out by Ottessa Moshfegh. I resonated so much with the grief, loneliness, and the conflicting emotions that were truly at the heart of this novel. Moshfegh is an author that is understandably divisive - some readers adore her work and others, not so much. Death in Her Hands is similar in that not everyone has enjoyed this book. I honestly loved it and found it a really refreshing and profound story.

Overall, if you haven't picked this one up yet, take a chance on it! It's not very long and I feel like it is just weird enough without being TOO weird for the general reader to enjoy it. I chose purposefully not to go too deeply into the synopsis/my feelings in this review because it's impossible to do so without giving spoilers. Just read it!! I, personally, was enchanted by Death in Her Hands and I can't wait to read more by Ottessa Moshfegh! 

- trigger warnings - fatphobia, ab*rtion

No Heaven for Good Boys by Keisha Bush

No Heaven for Good Boys
by Keisha Bush
⭐⭐⭐

Set in Senegal, No Heaven for Good Boys sheds light on the disturbing cruelty and abuse that young boys, known as the Talibe, must suffer and endure. The Talibe are young boys taken in by respected Marabouts, or holy men, whose purpose is to teach the newer generations the beliefs of the Koran. Marabouts are not always kind, righteous people, however, and many Talibe end up starved, abused, m*lested, and sometimes even k*lled. The Talibe are forced to roam the streets, begging for money from civilians for their supposedly holy masters. 

In No Heaven for Good Boys, we follow six-year-old Ibrahimah who, after being accidentally left by his family on a beach, is rescued by a man named Marabout Ahmed and is forcefully taken from his parents in order to pay back the debt that his saving has cost. Ibrahimah and his cousin Etienne fight for their lives daily in the city of Dakar, begging for money, food, and gifts for their Marabout, in a desperate hope of avoiding his merciless beatings. 

Truthfully, this is one of the more disturbing books I've ever read. The perspective shifts from time to time, but we mostly experience life through the eyes of six-year-old Ibrahimah. To see such abuse and cruelty through a child's eyes is really heartbreaking. I understood the author's intentions behind using Ibrahimah's age, especially because this story is a nightmare come true for so many boys. Ibrahimah's is a real story, one that many young boys suffer through. I am very impressed with Keisha Bush's ability to write something this cruel and actually have the ability to finish it.

Despite how important it is to shed light on this issue, I only rated this three stars because of the ending. I know that, when portraying real life issues, in an effort to emphasize the severity of the problem, authors will write ambiguous endings to avoid a "happy ending." Typically, I enjoy vague endings, but there are some stories I believe NEED hope, this narrative being one of them, and unfortunately, for me, there was simply no hope in this book. After witnessing all of Ibrahimah's suffering, I really wanted to witness his liberation as well.

Overall, this book is addressing a very real and serious issue that more people should be made aware of. As a story, however, it was very disturbing and triggered a feeling of perpetual suffering. So, with that said, if this story interests you, please be aware of the content warnings because there are definitely many of them!

- trigger warnings - child cruelty, child ab*se, death, p*dophilia, m*lestation, r*pe, s*xual assault

Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder

Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
⭐⭐⭐⭐

In Nightbitch, we meet an unnamed woman whose life is thrown upside down when she awakens to discover that she is seemingly morphing into a dog. As the transformation takes place, we witness her struggle to maintain her motherhood, marriage, and beast-hood all at once.

Nightbitch is a book about dissatisfaction with life, sacrificing oneself for love, the trials of motherhood, the complexities of marriage, and the freedom that comes with transforming into a wild-ass dog. This book was brilliant. Though the subject matter is very literal, the overall metaphor of becoming a dog is an astoundingly accurate and profound metaphor for the changes that take place throughout a woman's life.

The messages in Nightbitch are powerful, feminist, comforting, and funny as hell. This book focuses on the changes, expectations, and responsibilities forced onto a woman's shoulders as she becomes a mother, but it's also about finding yourself, following your heart, and finding your purpose in life. My only criticism for this book is the animal cruelty. While I was reading, I understood why the author felt it was necessary to include it, but I read an interview where she said herself that it's an aspect of the story that she somewhat regrets. I am very sensitive to animal cruelty, so those parts of the book were not my favorite. 

Honestly, I would love to recommend this to any woman who is already a mother, or who is hoping/planning to become one in the future, but I know this book wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea. So instead, I will recommend this one to any horror lovers because Nightbitch is extremely unique and though it's about turning into a dog, the story itself is a very human story and I really, really loved it. 

Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda

Woman, Eating
by Claire Kohda
⭐⭐

I genuinely wanted to like this book - a femme-lit horror novel about a vampire trying to break the cycle of generational trauma and forge their own path? That is right up my alley!

Unfortunately, this story fell very flat for me. Firstly, I feel like this kind of premise would have been better if it was fleshed out a little bit more and given more pages. It was way too short for everything the author was trying to accomplish. This caused the story to lack depth and emotion. Characters newly coming into the main character, Lydia's, life aren't allotted enough time to build a relationship with her. 

Lydia's attempts to deal with her traumas was appreciated but overall, they were rushed and ended before we could really sink our teeth in (pun intended). As a reader, we can understand what has led Lydia to be who she is and why she feels such shame about herself, but we don't get a chance to explore these things with her and watch her break free from them

It's not that this book is a "bad" book. As a matter of fact, so many people have loved it! But for me personally - I just didn't get it. If we can't dive deep into Lydia's psyche, what's the overall goal of the story? I'm bummed out about it for sure, but don't let my review discourage you! It might be your next favorite book! Unfortunately, it just wasn't for me!

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous
by Ocean Vuong
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Ocean Vuong's debut novel, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, opens up as a deeply moving letter to his illiterate mother, but by the end, we realize that this is more of a letter to himself, to us, to the powers that be, to all of mankind, and to the past. In this relatively short memoir/novel, Ocean encapsulates some of the rawest wisdom I have ever encountered, all while developing his own definition of humanity by reliving (and reshaping) his past. 

I struggled writing this review at first. What else is there to say other than that it is one of the most profound pieces of writing I have had the pleasure of experiencing? What else is there to say other than that this changed my perspective on grief and trauma? 

Admittedly, it took me a while to finish this book. It sat heavy on my heart each time I picked it up. I would read, cry, process, and read again. These pages bleed with trauma, loss, love, but most of all, hope, the kind of hopeless hope that hits you in the chest, leaving you breathless because how do we carry our accumulative corpses if we can't wish for a day in the future where we can set them down? Every time I picked up On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous,  I left with something new and heavy imprinted onto my soul

Subjectively speaking, this is one of the most important novels/memoirs to exist in my opinion. Ocean's pain is substantial and his longing is a longing that I, and many others, can resonate with on an incredibly deep level. Objectively speaking, Ocean's real life experiences spark a discourse on the coexistence of negligence and care, hate and love, authenticity and insincerity - all in the name of survival. Ocean also discusses his relationship with colonialism, sexuality, queerness, drug use, and racism, all while setting a phenomenal example of what effect beautiful prose and lyricism can have on us emotionally. 

This book might be little, but she is fierce - she packs a punch. I would highly recommend any of Ocean's work for the world to read. His is a voice that belongs to an entire generation and I believe also to a future literary legend. I adore him just as I adored this book. 

Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband? by Lizzie Damilola Blackburn

Yinka, Where Is Your Huzband?
by Lizzie Damilola Blackburn
⭐⭐

Yinka is a British Nigerian, work oriented, strong, independent woman who has yet to find a man with whom she can marry, and her family of Aunties make sure to remind her of this fact pretty regularly. Yinka is successful in every single way, and yet to her family, she is a failure for not yet having married or had children. When Yinka loses her job and begins to plan her cousin's wedding, she promises herself that she will find a date by the big day - not because she wants one, but just to prove to her Aunties that she can. 

YWIYH was such a fun and enjoyable read, even though I realize rating it 2 stars says differently, but I did genuinely enjoy my time with Yinka! This story is goofy, heartwarming, and I think so many people can resonate with Yinka and her story, as well as the relationships she has with her friends and family. 

Where this story falls short for me is the character development and the ending. Firstly, there were so many wonderful and diverse female characters in this book, I just wish we could have gotten to know them on a deeper level. We become intimately familiar with only two characters in this story, outside of our main character Yinka. Secondly, about 25% into the book, I predicted the ending. And I know! It's a romance baby, not a mystery! But it really would have been nice for a twist ending, perhaps one that doesn't tie everything up in a pretty little ribbon. I don't always mind predicting the ending either, but in this case, it was so blaringly obvious that it made the ending less satisfying. 

Despite my personal critiques, this story was fun, unique, diverse, goofy, and just plain enjoyable. It is light hearted, which at the time I met Yinka, I desperately needed. I definitely recommend this for all of my Romance lovers - I have a feeling you would just adore this story! 

White Oleander by Janet Fitch

White Oleander by Janet Fitch
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I have had this book for well over ten years and every time I tried to pick it up, I put it back down. It has been a book that I have longed to read but it never felt like the right time. I am so grateful that I waited. If I had read White Oleander at any time prior to this year, I don't think I would have understood it as deeply as I do now as a 26 year old woman. I believe everyone could read, enjoy, and carry this book in their heart, but I think it is especially important for every woman to experience Astrid's story. 

White Oleander follows the journey of Astrid before, during, and after her Mother Ingrid is sent to prison for committing murder. Being only 12 years old at the time of her mother's incarceration, Astrid is sent into the foster care system. 

This is a story that takes place over several years and in many different settings. We also meet a plethora of characters, each coming from polar opposite worlds and experiences. There are so many aspects to this book and I really don't know where to begin with my thoughts. That's how you know it's a favorite of mine. I loved this book. From the very first page, I knew this was going to be a forever favorite.

Not only is this a difficult coming of age story centered on surviving trauma, but it is also about how each and every person we encounter in life, whether a positive or negative influence, leaves a mark on us. We are covered in the bruises and scars from all the hands that have ever touched us. This is a story of finding mothers in strangers, and sometimes, even in ourselves. 

White Oleander is pain, hope, love, friendship, betrayal, and forgiveness all combined to create a mesmerizing and heartbreaking tale of survival. This entire book reads like one long poem and there were so many tabs and annotations by the end. If I could rate this more than 5 stars, I would. This comes extremely, passionately, and highly recommended by me! Please keep in mind that White Oleander contains many triggering topics, such as abuse, pedophilia, grooming, substance abuse, etc. so be prepared beforehand if you'd like to read this one!

Watch Over Me by Nina LaCour

Watch Over Me by Nina LaCour  
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Watch Over Me by Nina Lacour is a must read for everyone! It is simple, yet profound and beautiful in all of its sorrow, joy, and pain. 

In this story we meet eighteen year old Mila, who has recently aged out of the foster care system. She has no friends or family - only her dark past littered with trauma to keep her company. She finds a job at a farm run by Julia and Terry, two foster parents who have created a home for hurt, lost, and “unwanted” children who have not yet found their forever homes. Mila is hired as a teacher and a farmhand, but the farm is not all it seems at first glance. There are ghosts haunting the farm, just as the past haunts many of those who find themselves there. 

I found myself resonating with Mila a lot more than I thought I would initially. The best way I can describe this novel would be to say: it speaks volumes in whispers. It is a story of trauma, of healing, of love, of belonging, of survival. It is a lesson in healing your inner child - finding joy in pain.

Just like the farm, this story is haunting. It finds its way into you. As a trauma survivor myself, I feel that this story should become mandatory reading. I took so much away from Mila’s story. Nina Lacour is a brilliant and imaginative writer. I will definitely be picking up more of her work to enjoy!

A Very Nice Girl by Imogen Crimp

A Very Nice Girl by Imogen Crimp
⭐

A Very Nice Girl by Imogen Crimp follows the story of Anna as she is trying to navigate adulthood, opera school, and a new, mysterious older man. 

I very rarely rate books 1 star. I have to really dislike it in order to be so tough on it, and unfortunately, this was the case with A Very Nice Girl. I tried really hard but I could not find even one redeemable quality of this story or its characters. 

I didn't find Anna enjoyable. She was vapid, negative, and generally unpleasant. Usually, I don't mind unlikeable main characters. especially when they are trying to navigate a difficult time of their life, but there was not one ounce of character development in this story. For like... any of the characters. The romance gave me constant anxiety and really wasn't romantic at all. Maybe that was the point the author was trying to make, but it's also possible that Anna's constant need of approval from an older, narcissistic, emotionally unavailable man reminded me a little too much of myself. 

I don't recommend this one, although different strokes for different folks, right? Some people really enjoyed this book. It just wasn't for me!

Neruda on the Park by Cleyvis Natera

Neruda on the Park by Cleyvis Natera 
⭐⭐⭐

Neruda on the Park was a heart wrenching novel. The story focuses on the Guerreros and the domino effect that takes place in their community when construction (as well as gentrification) comes knocking on their door. This book mainly follows the experiences and reactions of Luz and her mother, Eusebia. 

Overall, I really enjoyed the truth at the heart of this story. I find that gentrification is a very important topic to discuss within our society because oftentimes, it can be dismissed as a simple fear of change - but it's much bigger than that. I found the conversations in this book about this topic to be extremely effective and powerful! I also loved the generational differences between Luz and her mother, and found their drastically differing opinions intriguing.

I only had two issues with Neruda on the Park - the character development and the ending. I mostly disliked Luz as a character. Many of her decisions/opinions tended to be immature, and though I can understand the role this played in the plot, I found it repetitive and frustrating! As for the ending - it really left me feeling empty, but not in a good way. I can totally resonate with life just sucking sometimes for no good reason. I get that the suffering we go through serves no purpose sometimes. But this particular story really would have benefitted from a more hopeful ending, I think. 

Overall, it wasn't a bad read and I'm glad to have read this one! It was powerful and evocative, and I really enjoyed it despite my few criticisms!

Disorientation by Elaine Hsieh Chou

Disorientation by Elaine Hsieh Chou
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is the kind of book that I wish was written when I was younger. I realize that at the age of 26 years old, I still have no plans or ideas as to my future or how I want to spend my life, but reading this book showed me that I could have been spending the last ten years or more enjoying my freedom instead of waking up in the middle of an existential crisis on a daily basis... but enough about me. 

In all seriousness, this book is really poignant and profound, all whilst being hilarious, educational, and a page turner all at once. 

Ingrid Yang is a Taiwanese American who, at 29 years old, is a PhD student in the process of finishing her dissertation on the famous Chinese poet Xiao-Wen Chou. She is engaged to her soul mate and has never needed to second guess her life, love, race, or profession. That is until one day, she stumbles upon a secret. Xiao-Wen Chou does not exist and as this discovery unravels her professional life, her personal and love life soon follow. 

Everyone needs to read this book. Every word is perfection and the ending is the best that I have read in a very long time. It's so educational and my favorite thing about this book is the fact that Ingrid is 29 years old. This is a coming of age story, or rather, it shows that we are all always coming of age, regardless of how old we actually are. We are constantly evolving, growing, and learning. 

I love female written books with strong and interesting female characters. I highly recommend Disorientation - it's such a politically intriguing story that brings issues of race, gender, morals, ethics, love, and conventional success into a conversation that is both funny and endearing. It's such a unique book and I just adored it!